Cheggers crowns Krispies with top chip award

“I’ll take a guess,” says cheeky TV presenter Keith Chegwin, as he saunters into Krispies on Exeter Road. “Maris Piper… and palm oil?” There’s a nod from the staff behind the counter. “I thought so,” he says, with a smile. “I’ve become quite a chip connoisseur during the last week. Actually the chip shops that win normally use palm oil and Maris Piper. Funny, isn’t it?”

So what’s Cheggers doing in Exmouth? And what’s that large suitcase he’s got with him? In the last few days the 50-something TV presenter, actor, singer and ex-Radio One DJ has been “here, there and everywhere” – well, Manchester, Birmingham, Cardiff and Leeds to be precise – as the ambassador for the Potato Council, presenting prizes to the regional winners of the annual Perfect Portion Award, part of National Chip Week.

Today, on the final leg of his journey, Keith is in Exmouth to present Krispies’ owners Tim and Kelly Barnes with the South West Perfect Portion Award. It’s the second year that they have won the prestigious prize, beating off tough competition from more than 60 fish and chip shops, restaurants and pubs in the southwest.

But there’s more than just Keith giving Tim and Kelly a signed certificate. “I’m going to serenade you,” he says, a wicked glint in his eye. “You knew that, did you?”

“We, er, did… ” says Kelly, rather nervously. “We’ve got high expectations.” Keith turns away, laughing, and starts unpacking his large suitcase.

“In each area,” says Keith, as he sets up what turns out to be some PA equipment in the middle of the chippie, “we pick a whole load of bands. In Newcastle, I did Cheryl Cole, so rather than, ‘We gotta fight, fight, fight for this love’, it was ‘Fried, Fried, Fried for your love’, and today, the people have nominated The Wurzels and ‘Brand New Harvester’.”

Cripes.

A minute or so later, hideously loud distorted guitars and microphone feedback erupts out of the PA. “Oh, no!” says Keith. “Wrong track.” Kelly laughs nervously, as the full extent of the audio torture in her shop becomes clearer. “Not yet, not yet!” Keith assures her. “I’m just doing a sound-level test!” More distorted guitars shriek through the chippie. “It’s the Stereophonics,” says Keith, before performing a comic cover of their version of ‘Handbags and Gladrags’. “Ever eaten fried Spam by the road?” he sings, a winsome look across his face. The place cracks up.

Finally the big moment arrives. Jolly tinkly piano chords and oompah brass tumble out of the PA, and Keith starts singing a version of Brand New Combine Harvester to the Krispies’ owners.

“Rode to the chip shop with my darling one night. Ooh ah, ooh ah. Picked up my bag of chips and gave myself a fright. Ooh ah, ooh ah. I bought this bag of chips, and developed two large ribs. Then some thing green fell out that then made me sick. Cos, I’ve got myself a perfect portion, but then I dropped the peas, I’ve got the mushy goodness, it slithered down my knees… I’ve got 20 fingers and I let them come down my face, cos I’ve got myself the perfect portion, but then I dropped the peas.”

Keith’s ‘song’ splutters to an end. “They went all over the place,” he says, apologetically. “Blooming peas everywhere! So shall we give Tim and Kelly the award? And where are the chips? Are they good?”

“We do two sorts,” says Kelly, proudly. “Regular and battered.”

“That’s what makes us different from everyone else,” explains Tim. “Oh, brilliant,” says Keith, looking a bit baffled. “It’s funny how, er, subjective chips can be…

 “Oh my God!” he shrieks. “What’s up with THAT?” he says, pointing to a tray of orange-coloured fried food that has just been presented to him. “What’s happened THERE? My God, what have you done to them?”

Kelly explains that these are Krispies’ battered chips, served 50/50 with regular ones. “Ah,” says Keith, beginning to appreciate the Devon delicacy. “Fantastic! An orange chip? Oh my God, they’re really good actually…they’re gorgeous! How do you do these?”

“It’s a secret ingredient,” says Tim.

“Of course,” says Keith, knowingly. “Well they are lovely,” he says, tucking in. “The first battered chip I’ve ever had. Just brilliant.”

Outside the shop, passers-by on the Exeter Road suddenly spot that Keith Chegwin is in their favourite chippie, and pandemonium ensues. He wanders out to meet and greet them, and is happy to dispense chips to all.

“We’re very excited about winning this award,” says Tim, as Keith poses for photographs with locals. “Yes, it’s great to bring something to Exeter Road,” says Kelly, “because obviously then it brings people down to this end of the town.”

“We take a lot of time and effort to keep the shop looking nice and smart, and lead the way, hopefully,” says Tim. “Having a clean, tidy shop invites people in and obviously the quality of our food keeps them coming back. We try to offer the best service. Even during busy times, we try and keep up with it.”

During National Chip Week, for every sale that they have made, Krispies have been giving away 10p to Childrens Hospice South West.

“We did that last year for the Macmillan Appeal, and it was a great success,” says Tim. “So this year, we’ve decided to double the total at the end of the week, whatever that may be.”

“Obviously we’re receiving this award, and it’s fantastic publicity for us,” says Kelly, “but it’s nice to be able to give something back as well.”

Keith bounces back in to the chippie, as the award ceremony comes to a close.

“Chips are comfort food,” he says, holding up a fine example of the battered variety. “As long as you don’t overdo it, say once a week, it’s fine isn’t it? Did you know that there’s more fat in a prawn and mayonnaise sandwich then there is in a portion of chips? It’s the texture that does it for me, every time.”

And could Krispies’ battered chips now become his perfect portion?

“I’m certainly very impressed with this 50/50 mixture. But it’s up to the general public to vote. They are the ones that decide where I go.”

And has he been to Exmouth before?

“Oh yes, it’s such a laugh down here… lots of nutters. They take part in anything you ask them to do, they always turn up. It must be the sea or something in the air…You’re more relaxed down here. And God knows how you lot put up with the holidaymakers! I really admire you!”

And with that, Cheggers is off on his travels again.